When I had my first baby, it didn’t take me long to realize establishing a schedule was a joke. I have always been the type of person who had to have a rigid schedule on the clock. I thrive in a well-organized atmosphere and being on time with plenty of time is important to me. After little Jakie was born, I tried and tried to establish a schedule with feeding time, nap time, tummy time, etc. I had a lot to learn. I could have saved myself a lot of stress had I learned the difference between a schedule and a routine.
Schedule vs Routine
So what is a schedule and what is a routine? A schedule is a planned list of activities and events with specific times attached. A routine is a regular, established pattern of behavior or activities. Much more flexible and stress-relieving. I was told I should feed my baby every 2-3 hours. I tried to set up a feeding schedule, but he would be screaming for food within an hour and a half. I learned to just feed him when he was hungry. I couldn’t compel Jakie to be tired when I decided it was nap time. I learned to just take advantage of his awake windows, (tummy time, learning, etc.) and watch for his tired cues to put him down for a nap. Schedules and routines are both very important but don't beat yourself up if you're not able to establish a schedule in the first year of your child's life. Just establish a routine and be consistent as possible. The schedule will start to fall into place eventually.
Checklists
An important part of a routine is a checklist. As an organized person, I can say that checklists are vital. There’s nothing like feeling satisfaction and accomplishment when you check off or cross out an item on your to-do list. And when you are establishing routines, they are a must. I started with a checklist of 5 items I absolutely had to have done daily. Then I created a checklist of things that my baby needed each day. Then as my baby was awake, I would work on his checklist. When he slept, I would work on my checklist. It felt so good when I looked at the checklists at the end of the day. Even if everything wasn’t accomplished, I felt like I was getting somewhere by looking at the things that were accomplished. As time went on, I was able to add a few more items to both checklists, one at a time.
Consistency
I cannot stress the importance of consistency enough. It is so important for both you and your child. Things do come up and that’s ok, it’s not the end of the world if you aren’t able to check off all your boxes or you miss a day with tummy time. But as long as you try your best, you can be pretty consistent and your baby will feel a lot more secure. You will be surprised at how your baby does adjust to a schedule later on when you are consistent. Consistency pays off. Five to ten minutes of tummy time every day is much better than doing it for an hour every sporadic week. The same concept applies to eating, playing, learning, and anything that you have to do as well!
Enjoy the Journey
The most important thing is to enjoy these moments. If it’s noon and you start feeling the least bit of stress or discouragement because you haven’t checked one box on your checklist or your baby hasn’t followed one routine, that is ok! Set it all aside, kick off your shoes, and play with your baby or sleep with your baby, whatever the case may be. Of course, if your baby is teething, that’s a whole different story. The point is, it’s way more important that your baby feel only peace and love from you. I admit, there has been plenty of those kinds of days for me. Learn to enjoy them and pick yourself up fresh in the morning.
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